I want to get out of this self-perpetuating cycle of men being held to a low standard of parenting.
For me, memories are elusive. I feel like most people I know remember much more of their childhood than I do.
I’ve been exploring some nuance of memories this week. There’s me wanting to remember more, say of time with my sons. But there’s also me hoping my sons want to remember time they spend with me.
I don’t know quite what to do with this thought yet.
Feedback loops are what underpin huge changes in our world. Understanding what Jim Collins dubbed “the flywheel effect” is essential learning for anyone trying to lead or change culture.
These are learnings I’ve had trying to apply flywheel thinking in my world, over the past 2-3 years. Flywheels have helped me to understand everything from business strategy, to management, to gun violence prevention, and even my own marriage.
I don’t know if anyone else thinks about what life would be like without their partner. It’s like the worst thing. Which is probably why it’s a thought experiment that’s private, saved for dark corners and late nights, never to be acknowledged.
At the same time, perhaps it’s a pain that, when confronted, helps us to truly live. I don’t know. It’s a complicated feeling and idea. I don’t know for sure, but it’s something I think my father understood.
The world of children, I’ve found, can be a remarkable window into the world of adults. So much of our behavior, motivations, fears, and hopes end up being so similar, at their core, to those of children.
Little kids want to be seen, because they know intuitively that to be seen is to be loved. And adults, it seems, are not that different.
At some point in the past 10 years, I stopped dreaming. Everything became goals and ROI and avoiding waste. I didn’t realize it at the time, and even in retrospect it was hard to see.
I don’t want that. I want to dream again.
But I’ve lost, for good reason, the youthful swagger and ignorance that propelled me to dream. The new question has become, how do we dream from a posture of humility?
I was listening to a terrific podcast where Ezra Klein interviewed Tyler Cowen. And Tyler alluded to how weird ideas float around more freely these days - presumably because of diversity, the internet, social media, etc.
I think there’s a lot of implication for people who choose to lead teams and enterprises. How they manage and navigate teams with radically more diversity seems to be a central question of leadership today.
If you have any insights on how to operate in radically diverse environments, I’m all ears. Truly.
I don’t want to live in a fear-driven culture for the next twenty years. I’ve grown tired of it.
It seems to me that “know thy self” is good advice to end an attachment to fear. If we have something more compelling to focus on, we have something to think about that’s more compelling than the fear others are trying to project into our lives.
Holy is an interesting word. Most people kind of know what it means, without knowing what it means. What is holiness? I’ll know it when I see it.
But what about me, what does it mean to be holy? Am I holy? This post is an attempt to put words to holiness without having to depend on just knowing it when we see it.
Camping with young kids was hard, but well worth it. We learned so much (the hard way) that we wanted to share.
As with anything I publish, feel free to share this with anyone who might find it useful. And I’m happy to talk more if you or someone you know is interested in planning a family camping trip.
We recently returned from a few days in North Cascades National Park in northern Washington. We heard about it from a list of “underrated National Parks” and it really is terrific (and underrated).
If you have spent any time hiking and camping, these vignettes will likely rekindle memories of your own adventures in nature. If you haven’t been to one of our country’s amazing National Parks, I really recommend it.
I have such inner turmoil about feeling like I’m lagging behind my peers, in terms of career development. It’s totally irrational and stupid (and I know it), but I still feel it. I always thought it was just it was social comparison and some inevitability of human psychology.
But now, I’m wondering whether it’s just a response to the kind of covert bullying we adults torture each other with. If career angst is a response to the stimulus of feeling bullied, that’s actually a good thing. Because we can choose to respond differently.
Ballet, and dance in general, is one of my great loves. Reflecting on it as an adult, I’ve come to appreciate it as more than just a performing art. The craft of ballet is one that cultivates a mindset of joy, grace, and intensity.
I wanted to share a bit about ballet because I’ve come to lean on it as an alternative to the cultural mindset of dominance, competition, and winning at all costs.
I agree with statements like, “culture matters” or “leaders set the tone”, but they’re not helpful. Everyone knows that, and yet cultures don’t change easily.
It seems to me that one specific vector to change culture is to focus on reactions. I’ve reflected on some work-related examples in the post below. But the idea crosses domains, in my experience at least.
Are there are places where you’ve seen reactions have a big impact on organizational culture?
Unless I define “enough”, surplus doesn’t exactly exist.
Passing on tragic flaws is part of being a father. Can I stop any of my sins from becoming intergenerational?
Life defies measurement. Trying to measure it has kept me in a state of unpeaceful flux.
Separation of Powers is a brilliant way of preventing concentration of power (and eventually tyranny). Rotation of Powers is an alternative approach.
Dreaming bigger is one way to create an alternative to the dominant male culture.
Organizations fail when they don’t adhere to high standards. Creating that kind of culture that starts with us as individuals.