Blog

I’m trying to be a good guy in a stressed out world.

I think (a lot) about marriage, fatherhood, character, and leadership. I write for people who strive to be good and want to contribute at home, work, and in their communities.

Coming to you with love from Detroit, Michigan.

Aug 15
Aug 15 Adult Bullying

I have such inner turmoil about feeling like I’m lagging behind my peers, in terms of career development. It’s totally irrational and stupid (and I know it), but I still feel it. I always thought it was just it was social comparison and some inevitability of human psychology.

But now, I’m wondering whether it’s just a response to the kind of covert bullying we adults torture each other with. If career angst is a response to the stimulus of feeling bullied, that’s actually a good thing. Because we can choose to respond differently.

Aug 8
Aug 8 The Ballet Mindset

Ballet, and dance in general, is one of my great loves. Reflecting on it as an adult, I’ve come to appreciate it as more than just a performing art. The craft of ballet is one that cultivates a mindset of joy, grace, and intensity.

I wanted to share a bit about ballet because I’ve come to lean on it as an alternative to the cultural mindset of dominance, competition, and winning at all costs.

Aug 1
Aug 1 Reactions Make Culture

Institutional Innovation

I agree with statements like, “culture matters” or “leaders set the tone”, but they’re not helpful. Everyone knows that, and yet cultures don’t change easily.

It seems to me that one specific vector to change culture is to focus on reactions. I’ve reflected on some work-related examples in the post below. But the idea crosses domains, in my experience at least.

Are there are places where you’ve seen reactions have a big impact on organizational culture?

Jul 25
Jul 25 Surplus and Defining “Enough”

Building Character, Reflections

Unless I define “enough”, surplus doesn’t exactly exist.

Jul 18
Jul 18 What sin will end with me?

Passing on tragic flaws is part of being a father. Can I stop any of my sins from becoming intergenerational?

Jul 11
Jul 11 The unmeasured life

Life defies measurement. Trying to measure it has kept me in a state of unpeaceful flux.

Jul 4
Jul 4 Rotation of Powers

Institutional Innovation

Separation of Powers is a brilliant way of preventing concentration of power (and eventually tyranny). Rotation of Powers is an alternative approach.

Jun 27
Jun 27 When men dream bigger

Citizenship and Community, Reflections

Dreaming bigger is one way to create an alternative to the dominant male culture.

Jun 20
Jun 20 High Standards Matter

Management and Leadership, Reflections

Organizations fail when they don’t adhere to high standards. Creating that kind of culture that starts with us as individuals.

Jun 13
Jun 13 Gratitude and grief for slow-feeling time

The season of slow-feeling time has ended.

Jun 6
Jun 6 The rare second chance we all have

If we simply “got back to normal” we would’ve missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

May 30
May 30 Preparing to be married indefinitely

I think it takes adjustments, managing exponential growth, and humility.

May 23
May 23 Kegerators, Enrollment, and Becoming Better

Building Character

I am committed to helping us - on this journey to be better husbands, fathers, or citizens - all rise together.

May 16
May 16 A choking son; My brother’s keeper

Citizenship and Community

Who am I choosing to notice?

May 9
May 9 Equality begins at home

Women pay a tax on their talent. It’s not fair.

May 2
May 2 Coaxing my best self to show up

Building Character

This exercise has helped the best version of myself to show up more than he would otherwise. It’s a “dress rehearsal for the day.”

Apr 25
Apr 25 Riley’s lesson in fatherhood

I am so grateful to Riley for teaching me to be a better father and person. He taught me about the slipper slope of control and abuse.

Apr 25
Apr 25 Who is low-potential, exactly?

Institutional Innovation, Management and Leadership

We have exclusive programs for people with “high-potential”. If we do that, then who exactly is “low-potential”?

Apr 18
Apr 18 The Artist’s Choice

As artists, we’re choosing to be out on a limb. That’s what our art requires.

Apr 11
Apr 11 Asking for directions, when it matters