I want to get out of this self-perpetuating cycle of men being held to a low standard of parenting.
All in Reflections
The world of children, I’ve found, can be a remarkable window into the world of adults. So much of our behavior, motivations, fears, and hopes end up being so similar, at their core, to those of children.
Little kids want to be seen, because they know intuitively that to be seen is to be loved. And adults, it seems, are not that different.
At some point in the past 10 years, I stopped dreaming. Everything became goals and ROI and avoiding waste. I didn’t realize it at the time, and even in retrospect it was hard to see.
I don’t want that. I want to dream again.
But I’ve lost, for good reason, the youthful swagger and ignorance that propelled me to dream. The new question has become, how do we dream from a posture of humility?
I don’t want to live in a fear-driven culture for the next twenty years. I’ve grown tired of it.
It seems to me that “know thy self” is good advice to end an attachment to fear. If we have something more compelling to focus on, we have something to think about that’s more compelling than the fear others are trying to project into our lives.
We recently returned from a few days in North Cascades National Park in northern Washington. We heard about it from a list of “underrated National Parks” and it really is terrific (and underrated).
If you have spent any time hiking and camping, these vignettes will likely rekindle memories of your own adventures in nature. If you haven’t been to one of our country’s amazing National Parks, I really recommend it.
I have such inner turmoil about feeling like I’m lagging behind my peers, in terms of career development. It’s totally irrational and stupid (and I know it), but I still feel it. I always thought it was just it was social comparison and some inevitability of human psychology.
But now, I’m wondering whether it’s just a response to the kind of covert bullying we adults torture each other with. If career angst is a response to the stimulus of feeling bullied, that’s actually a good thing. Because we can choose to respond differently.
Ballet, and dance in general, is one of my great loves. Reflecting on it as an adult, I’ve come to appreciate it as more than just a performing art. The craft of ballet is one that cultivates a mindset of joy, grace, and intensity.
I wanted to share a bit about ballet because I’ve come to lean on it as an alternative to the cultural mindset of dominance, competition, and winning at all costs.
Unless I define “enough”, surplus doesn’t exactly exist.
Life defies measurement. Trying to measure it has kept me in a state of unpeaceful flux.
Dreaming bigger is one way to create an alternative to the dominant male culture.
Organizations fail when they don’t adhere to high standards. Creating that kind of culture that starts with us as individuals.
The season of slow-feeling time has ended.
If we simply “got back to normal” we would’ve missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
As artists, we’re choosing to be out on a limb. That’s what our art requires.
“Aunts” and “Uncles” build resilient cultures - whether it’s in a family or a larger organization.
What I was told would lead to success, led to fragility. Hard things, as it turns out, lead to courage and inner-strength.
At some point in the past five years, I accepted that the door Papa went through went one way.
By asking questions on facebook, I’ve learned the value of radical diversity and radical questions.