All in Fatherhood
I don’t want to make noise about the sacrifices I’ve made, but I don’t want my sacrifices to be insulted by ungrateful children. I don’t want my children feel deep shame or know intense suffering, but I also want them to have opportunities to build inner strength. In some ways I need to tell stories about sacrifice, but in other ways that’s counterproductive.
What’s a parent to do?
Radha was never born or conceived. Yet, I know she is my sister. I hope our sons realize the gravity of the gift - brotherhood - they have.
Bo, Myles, and Emmett - if you ever find this remember that you are not here to justify us as parents. Remember to love each other. And remember our prayers for you.
My son has managed to teach me a lesson before he was even born - we can’t stop dreaming.
At their best, mentors are not just advisors, they are momentary fathers. I think if we’re honest, those of us who feel like we’ve had some success at living life have been blessed with many momentary mothers and fathers along the way.
I made a difficult promise to my son, and it turned out to be a lesson on faith.
As it turns out, the antidote to “I can’t” need not be “Of course, I can, I’m the shit.” It can also be, “I have something special to contribute, just as everyone does. So I’m going to figure this out, even if it’s hard.”
I want to get out of this self-perpetuating cycle of men being held to a low standard of parenting.
For me, memories are elusive. I feel like most people I know remember much more of their childhood than I do.
I’ve been exploring some nuance of memories this week. There’s me wanting to remember more, say of time with my sons. But there’s also me hoping my sons want to remember time they spend with me.
I don’t know quite what to do with this thought yet.
The world of children, I’ve found, can be a remarkable window into the world of adults. So much of our behavior, motivations, fears, and hopes end up being so similar, at their core, to those of children.
Little kids want to be seen, because they know intuitively that to be seen is to be loved. And adults, it seems, are not that different.
Camping with young kids was hard, but well worth it. We learned so much (the hard way) that we wanted to share.
As with anything I publish, feel free to share this with anyone who might find it useful. And I’m happy to talk more if you or someone you know is interested in planning a family camping trip.
Passing on tragic flaws is part of being a father. Can I stop any of my sins from becoming intergenerational?
I am so grateful to Riley for teaching me to be a better father and person. He taught me about the slipper slope of control and abuse.
Myles - this is a memory of your first steps, and a reflection of mine for you to remember.
We can’t “teach” our kids character, but we can debrief it.
Lightness is a blessing that we may be gifted on the long, arduous walk toward goodness.
A Jimmy Fallon Clip with Chadwick Boseman changed the way I think about role models.
