I’m trying to be a good guy in a stressed out world.

I think (a lot) about marriage, fatherhood, character, and leadership. I write for people who strive to be good and want to contribute at home, work, and in their communities.

Coming to you with love from Detroit, Michigan.

Bullies

TAKAYAMA, JAPAN — This is admittedly oversimplified, but a helpful frame I think. 

Something I’ve felt and seen over and over is that humans have a strong desire not to be bullied. It seems to me there are two alternatives to being bullied. 

First, become a bully. This is easy in the short run, but destroys your life in the long run.

Second, have the courage to stand up to a bully (or ignore them). This is really hard in the short run, but much more peaceful in the long run.

There seem to be only two equilibrium states: everyone is a bully or nobody is a bully. What we get is determined by our choices (or lack of choices).

What’s also hard is that it’s easy to fool ourselves — and I’ve done this myself — into thinking we’re a courageous hero, when we’re really just another bully.  

 

If you enjoyed this post, you'll probably like my new book - Character By Choice: Letters on Goodness, Courage, and Becoming Better on Purpose. For more details, visit https://www.neiltambe.com/CharacterByChoice.

I don’t know how to handle mistakes - please help.

Life is fair, we are not.

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