I’m trying to be a good guy in a stressed out world.

I think (a lot) about marriage, fatherhood, character, and leadership. I write for people who strive to be good and want to contribute at home, work, and in their communities.

Coming to you with love from Detroit, Michigan.

"I'm done being nervous."

Segel said an interesting thing to me today: "I'm done being nervous". It was an epiphany.

Why be nervous - in the anxious, performancing-undermining way. It doesn't make sense. All it demonstrates is a lack of confidence and a lack of preparation. And, any man whould be both perpared and confident at at all times. There's no other way to live.

That doesn't mean to disregarind the stakes and impacts of actions. It does mean that irrational fears should be subsided. Once irrational fears are swept away, one can focus on the rational fears in his life and address those, which is tremendously more practical and helpful than trying to squelch irrational fears.

Now, the question becomes...how does one neutralize irrational fear? Like most things, I think it comes down to honesty. By being honest, one can see straight to the heart of an emotion or situation. And if you see straight to the heart of a problem you can fully understand the problem and it's no longer nerve-tingling...it is whatever it is...hard, easy, stressful, joyous, sexy or nominal. By being honest, one can remove the uncertainty of a situation, see something for what it really is and then address it head-on.

I want to try this...subsiding my irrational nervousness, by being more honest with myself...for better or worse. I think I could stand to live fearlessly more often than I do.

If you enjoyed this post, you'll probably like my new book - Character By Choice: Letters on Goodness, Courage, and Becoming Better on Purpose. For more details, visit https://www.neiltambe.com/CharacterByChoice.

The World is Messy

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