So, the last post -- piss poor quality of writing aside -- just struck another thought. Let me explain.

"The Ways I Wait" wasn't about anyone in particular. Instead it was an emotion and reflection on the idea of someone or something. At the time, I thought it was a powerful feeling...something rooted in a deep stirring that causes thoughtful engagement in day-to-day life

Is it? Or is it "'emotional cowardice"? By emotional cowardice I mean something that's emotionally hollow and used as a shield to deflect real feelings and experiences with real people?

Think of it this way...if it's a genuine, powerful, feeling and idea -- the act of loving and being committed to the idea of someone that isn't explicitly identified -- maybe it causes the thinker to dive right into life. But if it isn't, maybe the idea is a self-defense mechanism that provides a rationalizing for not diving into life?

Ahh, hard to explain and I'm really hungry so I don't have the patience to sound it out.

But maybe this is a simpler model to explain the difference.

If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is something powerful and genuine: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Try damndest to build ideal state

If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is on the order of emotional cowardice: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Thought that "nothing lives up to the imagined ideal state" --> Rationalization of inaction

Looking at it this way, there seem to be two things that influence the outcome.

1. Imagination of the ideal state - You have to begin with the end in mind, here. It has to be an authentic conceptualization of the ideal state...something that works in the real world. Something simple...a criteria that can be evaluated against.

2. The first move after Imagining the ideal state. If you don't start to act, right at that moment...when would you?

Simply put...you have to really clearly know what you want...then go after it like a madman. Sounds a lot like any task.