The past few months have been the hardest "season" of life that I've ever had. I lost my father, I've had very rewarding but very high-pressure projects at work, I've had to help plan a wedding, and I've had to learn to live with the steam-rolling weight of student loan debt.
Because today was a particularly difficult day, I started to reflect on the most important lessons I've learned this year. After all, what good is a hard season in life if you can't learn from it? So I thought, "How'd I get through this?"
It didn't take me long to realize that the only reason I got through this season was because of the outpouring of support from loved ones that I've built relationships with over years and decades. Even people I barely know sent me nuggets of wisdom and comfort after my father died.
Moreover, I've been able to lean on regular rituals like morning gratitudes, alternating grocery shopping weeks with Robyn, or attending an at-home brunch hosted by two dear friends every second Saturday of the month. Hell, even the consistency of eating exactly 5 spoonfuls of yogurt with granola cereal every morning helps keep me sane.
I could go on. But here's the point.
Life is built in the off-season, when things are going smoothly and there's not a crisis afoot. Building up relationships and disciplined routines are the guardrails that keep you afloat during difficult times. Habits and relationships are an inoculation against adversity, and they are most easily built during the calm times between storms.
So, if you asked me, "how did you deal with the past few, very hard, months?" I'd tell you that you were asking the wrong question. The better question would be to ask what I did in the off-season to prepare.
If you enjoyed this post, you'll probably like my new book - Character By Choice: Letters on Goodness, Courage, and Becoming Better on Purpose. For more details, visit https://www.neiltambe.com/CharacterByChoice.